She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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