I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
