Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

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  (714): im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF http://tfl.nu/bxu6
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  (415): View more from California

  if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?

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  (415): if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me? http://tfl.nu/n53h
  Replies (90) Good night (785) Bad night (10179) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life

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  (301): in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/47y4
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.

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  (515): Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him. http://tfl.nu/tve9
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later

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  (513): I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later http://tfl.nu/i6ww
  Replies (1) Good night (1475) Bad night (777) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.

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  (403): Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season. http://tfl.nu/yv9x
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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  (203): You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet. http://tfl.nu/4f2y
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.

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  (904): I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff. http://tfl.nu/e8i1
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  (561): View more from Florida

  The beers last night were like the tears from god

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  (561): The beers last night were like the tears from god http://tfl.nu/bni8
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  (406): View more from Montana

  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.

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  (850): Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again. http://tfl.nu/pnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (1633) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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  (609): Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him. http://tfl.nu/6jaw
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.

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  (435): Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping. http://tfl.nu/o391
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  They shoved things up my nose I feel violated

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  (740): They shoved things up my nose I feel violated http://tfl.nu/ojlg
  Replies (11) Good night (370) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.

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  (269): I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning. http://tfl.nu/k0jr
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (446) Order T-Shirt

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