so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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