hotel room ftw
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
