How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
