I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i out mim tonsoeep
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
