i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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