So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Text me some of your sweat
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
