My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
