Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize