Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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