Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
