Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
