I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
