I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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