They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
