If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
