your parents love me but you hate me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
