Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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