those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
