Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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