I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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