i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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