Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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