Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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