Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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