Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
