I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
