bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
