dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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