Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
