i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
