$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
