how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
