He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
