I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
