I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
