I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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