So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
