his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
