I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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