maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
