ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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