Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
