I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
