You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
how drunk are you?
Several
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
