After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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