at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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