She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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