Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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