I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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