i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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