a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
