You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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