apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need a burrito and a hug.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
