Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
