Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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