butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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