I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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