My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
