We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
